your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
