Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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