She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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