I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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