You work out of a Hotel?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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