Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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