Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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