Say something about gay babies.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize