$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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