He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
