I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
