Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
two words: eviction party
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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