By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yo dont text me then not text me
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
