What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
