I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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