Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
