It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
