i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
