She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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