i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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