I think I died a long time ago.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize