After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
