there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
that is very illegal...i love you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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