On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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