just come out here and I will go home with you...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
