Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize