i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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