Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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