rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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