At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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