I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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