So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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