Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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