turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
