so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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