I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
