Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
