There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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