I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
