I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
