One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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