haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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