this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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