:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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