The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i've created a new STD.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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