You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
