Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
