do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
