meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
