I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
