my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
