Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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