So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
how drunk are you?
Several
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
