she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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