I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
