What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Ketchup is God's man juice
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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